MY ENTIRE LIFE.
Have a history teacher explain this if they can.
Abraham Lincoln was elected to congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to congrss in 1946.
Lincoln was elected president in 1860.
Kennedy was elected president in 1960.
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost a child while living in the White House.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.
NOW IT GETS WEIRD!
Lincoln’s Secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy’s Secretary was named Lincoln.
Both were Assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.
Both Assassians were known by there three names.
Both Names are Composed of fifteen letters.
NOW HANG ON TO YOUR SEAT!!
Lincoln was shot in a theater named “Ford”.
Kennedy was shot in a “Lincoln” car made by “Ford”.
Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.
HERE’S THE KICKER!
A week before Lincoln was shot, He was in Monroe, Maryland.
A week before Kennedy was shot, He was Marilyn Monroe.
BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE!
Lincoln was shot in a theater and the assassian ran to a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a Warehouse and ran to a theater.
Watched Alien3 last night, its surprising that film even got made.
I wonder if old Ben got much desert pussy while he was living on Tatooine or if he had to settle for Jawas?
So much win!
"Curing AIDS? Shit, that’s like Cadillac making a car that lasts for 50 years. And you know they can do it, but they ain’t going to do nothing that fucking dumb. Shit, they got metal on the Space Shuttle that can go around the Moon and withstand temperatures of up to 20,000 degrees, you mean to tell me you don’t think they can make an El Dorado with a fuckin’ bumper that don’t fall off?"
- Chris Rock (“Bigger and Blacker”, 1999)